Traditions can be great, but not all wedding traditions are necessary, or even meaningful, in today’s weddings. The thing that is important in a tradition is that it means something to you. So don’t do the traditional wedding vows if they hold no personal meaning for you – write your own! Or if your father isn’t in your life for whatever reason, don’t feel like you have to have someone give you away. You do the things that feel right and make you happy on your wedding day.
Here are some old traditions that no one miss, and a couple that I think are outdated and awkward.
1. Having a Bride’s Side and a Groom’s Side
While the idea of having your friends and family on your “side” doesn’t bother me (at least you’ll know where to look for your peeps) I also love the idea of letting people sit wherever they want for your ceremony. And it eliminates the need for ushers, which I also think are totally unnecessary (also unnecessary: guestbook attendants.)
2. Doing a Receiving Line
Don’t ever make your guests stand in a line at your wedding if you can avoid it, and NEVER do it unless it is for food or a drink. The receiving line is pointless and a waste of time. After you and your husband eat your dinner, just walk around to all of the tables and quickly greet and thank your guests. This allows your guests to be comfortable and you and your spouse to have more time to dance the night away!
3. Giving Favors
Can you remember any of the wedding favors you’ve received at a wedding? I bet most of you will say no. While favors can be a fun way to include your personalities or identities into your wedding details, they aren’t necessary and probably won’t be missed. Don’t feel comfortable skipping them altogether? Do something extra that your guests can enjoy – like a candy or dessert bar – and put out cute paper bags to take some home too. Or do a charity donation in lieu of favors. I love the way it was done in the photo above.
4. Bouquet Toss
First of all, you probably paid at least $150 (or more!) for that bouquet and it is gorgeous. Would you just toss money around like that? Of course not. Secondly, and more importantly, it can be humiliating. Not for you, the bride, but for the single ladies that are shoved onto the dance floor and probably forced to smile while they are told they could be “the next lucky one to get married” if they catch that bouquet. As a girl who was a bridesmaid 8 times before I got engaged and have been to more weddings than I remember, I speak from experience. No, not everyone feels that way. Yes, some people love the bouquet toss. But some people just do it because “it is what people do” and if that is the case, I think you can do without it.
5. Garter Toss
I am a firm believer that you should wear a pretty garter on your wedding day, and you should leave it on for your husband to find on your wedding night. Do not, I beg you, do a garter toss during your reception. The first word I think of when someone says “garter toss” is yuck. Or maybe it’s gross. Definitely awkward. I mean, come on – who wants to sit there while all of your guests watch your husband creep up your gown to remove your garter (the really lovely ones do it with their teeth!) YUCK. This is definitely a tradition to, well, toss. Wear a pretty garter, have photos of it taken, pass it down as an heirloom or something blue. But please do not toss it.So what do you think of these traditions you can skip? Do you agree or disagree? Are there others you would add to the list? I’d love to hear!