Ok, here’s the real deal about sex on your wedding night: almost no one does it! Shocking, I know. I’ll never forget when the first of my girlfriends confessed to me that she and her new husband didn’t have sex the night of their wedding. I couldn’t believe it. And then I heard it from another friend. And another. By then I started to realize it was more than just a fluke – it was the norm.
More than likely, you and your new husband are both exhausted, hot & sweaty, drunk, or a combination of the three. By the time you retire to your “honeymoon suite” you’re ready to pass out. But if you really want to have sex on your wedding night, you can do it. I did! Here are a few tips to making it happen.
Tip 1: Don’t stay out at the wedding after-party with your wedding guests till 5 am. And don’t get completely wasted. It’s totally ok to party, stay out till 5 am, and get wasted. But you won’t have sex. Pick your fun.
Tip 2: If you do want to meet up with your guests at an after-party, or stay out late partying, excuse yourself for a bit after the wedding and before you meet up with everyone to get out of your wedding clothes. While you’re out of them, have sex. Then go party. Problem solved. Oh, and being in a rush to meet up with everyone might make it even hotter…
Tip 3: When you get to your room, take a romantic bath or shower (preferably together). It will make you feel less disgusting from all of that dancing and drinking and will wake you up a bit. Then slip into that sexy lingerie you bought for your wedding night and get busy. You might not feel like it at the start, but you’ll be into it pretty soon. And that lesson is good practice for later, if/when you have kids and you often have to make yourselves have sex when you can, whether you’re into it at that moment or not.
Tip 4: Be ok with the fact that you might not have sex on your wedding night. It’s not that big of a deal – you have the rest of your lives together. Plus, there’s always morning-after-wedding sex… And that’s why I don’t believe in organized day-after brunches.
PS – need some suggestions for great wedding night lingerie? I love this, this, and this. Oh, and this – for after.
{all photos by Elizabeth Messina originally found here on Munaluchi Bride and here on Wedding Chicks}
6 Comments
We totally didn’t. I didn’t get any sleep the night before the wedding, was up for hair and makeup at 6am, wedding ended at 5pm, went back to the room and crashed until I had to get ready for our dessert after party at 7pm. Then I left the party early while hubs stayed out. By the time he got back to the hotel, I was passed out. Romantic, huh?
It actually didn’t happen for a few days, because we had such an action packed week with our destination wedding. Two full days at theme parks and exhaustion. But that’s okay. Like you said, you have the rest of your life. No one should feel pressure to make it happen – that’s not much fun, either.
Definitely the third one for after!
For me, it’s more enjoyable to go to the after party and mingle with my friends and family. It’s more memorable. You can have sex anytime afterwards anyway.
Tip number 3 is what we did, lol, and make sure you don’t take to long getting that sexy lingerie on or he will be passed out on the bed before you get back out there!! Another great tip is that for my friends we got their hotel keys and went to their room to decorate, plus left bottles of water to help with a hang over, and had yummy treats for them to eat and soak up the booze. I also put together the Wedding Hangover Kits which includes, coffee, chocolate, band-aids, Tylenol extra strength, bubble bath, and more
This is the saddest post I have ever read. If you honor marriage as a beautiful and sacred thing, not just another drunken right of passage, then there is no way you would skip or rush consummating your love. Especially to go out and get wasted with friends. I would be devastated if my husband chose drinking with buddies over the wedding night. Come on, ladies!
My fiance and I are waiting to have sex until we are married and let me tell you…we will most definitely be having sex on our wedding night. Counting down the days
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