• Dating Your Spouse After Babies

    Happy Friday!  Another Friday means another post in our Lovely Ever After series.  This week, we’re talking date nights after you have kids.  This is the kind of post you’ll totally relate to if you have a baby and that you’ll need to bookmark  and pin for later if you don’t.  A big thanks to Jen of Blush Printables for sharing her story about date and tips.  I think it really helps to read about someone else’s experience.  Take it away, Jen!

    tips for date nights with your spouse after baby

    It’s been very busy in our household lately. My husband is in the middle of writing a paper, I’m launching a new wedding collection, and a free night is something that hasn’t been available to us in what seems like months. I was on the phone with my photographer a few days ago, and after we’d gotten business out of the way, we were chatting about our lives, our husbands and our kids. Ben and I happened to have a date planned for that very night. I surprised him with dinner out, and even hired a sitter!!, to celebrate his accomplishment at work.  My friend, who has two children of her own, told me that she and her husband schedule weekly dates because “dates are cheaper than divorce.” I laughed at the time, but what she said really struck a chord.

    Are we headed for divorce? Absolutely not!  But when’s the last time we had time for ourselves?  Quite honestly, I can’t remember.  Between his work schedule (that’s been unpredictable lately), my work schedule (that’s keeping me busy almost every day of the week), health issues (the three of us have been passing a cold back and forth) and the holidays, I can’t even think of when we could have possibly squeezed in a date.  And between our hectic schedules and my mommy-guilt, we’ve certainly put our relationship on the back burner.  So that night at dinner, we talked about setting aside more time for each other, and me becoming more used to the idea of not being super-mom.  We’re excited to try new restaurants, go for walks at the park, or see a movie!

    In order to make our monthly date night a reality, we had to come up with a plan:

Be realistic

    We have fairly unpredictable schedules, so weekly dates aren’t in the cards for us.  Monthly dates better suit our schedule.

    Find a trustworthy babysitter

    Last summer, we hired a nanny and sadly had to say goodbye to her as she went back to college in the fall.  Her college is local and she decided to commute this semester, so she’s living close by again.  She watched Chloe for us when we had date night a few days ago, and we were a little apprehensive since they hadn’t seen each other in a few months.  We asked her to come a half hour early so they could get re-acquainted with one another while Ben and I were still at home.  It turns out that wasn’t the case at all, and Chloe remembered her instantly, but it did give us a bit of time to catch up with Nanny Jumper (and we missed her so much!!).   The three of us talked when we got home from our date, and agreed to make date-night a more permanent arrangement.

    Plan ahead

    Date Nights for us won’t always be on the same day, or at the same time of day, but we always plan ahead.  I make sure to write down a list of emergency numbers for our babysitter, as well as our cell phone numbers (even though they’re programmed into her phone), as well as our address (in case she needs to call 911) and our pediatrician’s information.  I also write down food preferences (lunch/dinner/snacks), and our bedtime routine (if she’s there at night). Can you tell I’m Type-A?

    Ditch the mommy guilt

    This one is really hard for me.  As much as we want to, we try not to talk about Chloe while we’re out on our date.  This is us time, after all!  There’s nothing quite like uninterrupted adult conversation (and a glass of wine!).

    Aren’t these great tips?  And I wanted to add one more date night tip that I learned from one of my other favorite momma bloggers:  Let your husband pay the babysitter while you go straight to bed.  It keeps you in a sexy frame of mind.  Brilliant!  So, how often do you go on dates?  Do you have any tips to add on making it work and staying in date mode instead of parent mode?  Do share!

    Above photo of my family when Charlie was 12 months by our dear friend Allison of Greenhorse Creative Services.

    leave a comment.

    Leave a Reply

    • The Land of Nod, design for kids and people that used to be kids
    •  Seriously cannot believe I'm saying this but, YOU ARE NINE MONTHS OLD! Your first 9 months of life sure did go by faster than your 9 months in my belly, and I didn't even know you were in there for the first 9 weeks! (Yep, I was totally that pregnant lady the third time around  but that's a story for another time...) You are feeding yourself, have still never had a bottle , are pulling up to standing, sprint crawling, finally cut your first tooth and are working on your second. You have regressed in sleep and the last week have been waking up 1-2 times a night but I know it's those teeth. You are not a good teether. You're babbling like crazy, mostly in this hilarious new demon voice, you often mimic sounds, and are always saying dadadada. How about a little mama, huh? I'm the one who has barely slept for 9 months through colic and reflux and nursing and night wakings and who carries you around on my person 90% of the time. I'm not bitter though. The smiles you save for me alone more than make up for it. #quincysmonthbymonth  Countdown to Halloween is on! Reminiscing about that time Charlie was @macklemore for Halloween, 2013. Kid was two weeks shy of three and played the part to a tee. What is your favorite costume you or your kids ever did? #isthatyourgrandmascoat #poppintags #charlieasmacklemore #babymacklemore #bornentertainer #charlesdashiell
       Continuing the Halloween theme today because I'm in a Halloween mood  Last year. My favorite movie as a kid became Charlie's favorite last year and he wanted to be Jareth so bad. I wasn't sure I could pull it off, but we did. Even down to dressing Calvin as Toby because he was the perfect age. I don't think it will ever get better than this for me. #dancemagicdance #babewiththepower #labyrinth  Motherhood is a constantly evolving state of total joy, exhausted agony, superhuman strength, and very human failures. As soon as you celebrate that superhuman successful day, it is replaced with new challenges. And just when you think you can't go one more day, you get a day so magical you want to have ten more babies. I'm in the midst of one of those exhausted phases again but I keep trying to remind myself that it is this phase that makes the magical days shine brighter. In the wise words of Miley Cyrus (I'm actually serious): it's all about the climb.  We've got this mamas. (Tag a momma who needs to get cheesy and read the words to a Miley Cyrus song ) #battlefieldmotherhood _______________________________________________ I can almost see it. That dream I'm dreaming, But there's a voice inside my head saying, "You'll never reach it." Every step I'm takin' Every move I make feels lost with no direction, My faith is shakin' But I, I gotta keep tryin' Gotta keep my head held high There's always gonna be another mountain I'm always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose Ain't about how fast I get there Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side It's the climb The struggles I'm facing The chances I'm taking Sometimes might knock me down, But no, I'm not breaking I may not know it, But these are the moments That I'm gonna remember most  Just gotta keep goin', And I, I gotta be strong Just keep pushing on, 'Cause... There's always gonna be another mountain I'm always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose Ain't about how fast I get there Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side It's the climb.
    • The Honest Company
    • Personalized Mother's Day Photo Cards: She’s always gone the extra mile for you. Now, it’s never been easier to add an extra special touch to Mother’s Day with a personalized photo card.
    • Wedding Paper Divas Wedding Day Needs - Programs, Menus, and more
    • Free Wedding Website from Wedding Paper Divas
    • Earth Mama Angel Baby