• Planning Tips: Who Pays For What (Traditionally) in Weddings

    Ok, so let me preface this post by saying that these days no one is expected to pay for anything and anyone can pay for anything when it comes to weddings.  These days, things are done less “traditionally” when it comes to footing the wedding bill.  That being said, there are things that, traditionally, are assigned to the bride, groom, bride’s family, or groom’s family.  I’ve compiled a list to help guide you, and maybe to use to facilitate the conversation on who will pay for what in your wedding and what your budget should be.

    tips and info on who pays for what in weddings by oh lovely day
    Groom’s ring
 ~ Gifts for your bridesmaids
 ~ A wedding gift for your groom
  ~ A gift for your parents
  ~ Your own hair & make-up for the wedding

    tips and info on who pays for what in weddings by oh lovely day

    Save the Dates, Invitations, Programs, Menus, and other paper goods
  ~ Wedding gown & bridal accessories
~ Feeding you and your bridesmaids on the wedding day
 ~ Bridesmaid’s bouquets

 ~ All fees associated with the ceremony site rental and decor AND the reception site rental and decor 
~ Florals used for decor ~ Food for the reception

  ~ All Wedding Vendors (photographer, cinematographer, planner, band or DJ, etc.) ~ Wedding cake
  ~ Favors
  ~ Transportation for the you, your wedding party and your family to the wedding
  ~ Gratuities for any vendors ~ Post-wedding brunch, if you have one … So basically, almost everything.  (but again, this is only traditionally and really varies these days)

    tips and info on who pays for what in weddings by oh lovely day

    Engagement and wedding ring for the bride
 ~ Bridal bouquet
 ~ A wedding gift for the bride ~ Gifts for the groomsmen  ~ Boutonnieres for all men in the wedding party or families ~ A gift for his parents
 ~ Cost of the marriage license
  ~ Officiant’s fees
 ~ His attire & accessories
  ~ Ties & accessories for men in the party
 ~ Honeymoon
 ~ Transportation for bride & groom at the end of the night
 ~Accommodations for the wedding night

    tips and info on who pays for what in weddings by oh lovely day

    Rehearsal dinner
 ~ Their own wedding attire
  ~ Their own travel expenses
 & accommodations ~ Transportation for groom & groomsmen to the ceremony
  ~ Bar & Beverages at reception

    tips and info on who pays for what in weddings by oh lovely day

    Bachelor & bachelorette parties
 ~ Bridal shower, if hosting
 ~ A wedding gift for the couple (yep, you’re still supposed to get them a gift)
 ~ Their travel expenses
  ~ Attire (dress, shoes, jewelry, suit or tuxedo purchase or rental, and accessories, and for flower girls & ring bearers – their parents pay for their own attire) ~ make-up and hair on wedding day if the opt to have it done, unless the bride pays as their gift (although if the bride requires matching shoes, jewelry, or requires you to have your hair or makeup done, she should really cover the costs)

    Again, let me stress that this list is not a hard-fast rule.  These decisions will vary and should take into account everyone’s financial abilities.  If you and your husband can bear more of the financial burden you may decide to do that.  If the groom’s parents wish to contribute more than the booze, that is totally fine.  If the bride’s family can’t pay for all of the listed things, they don’t have to.  Remember that with the money comes the understanding of more involvement and decision-making.  Your parents may not expect that, but it is customary that those who pay have more say.

    As I told you in my tips for what to do when you get engaged, you should talk to your significant other about what kind of wedding you want, what you can afford to spend yourselves, and then talk to your families.  My husband and I talked to our own parents separately and solo, as we were more comfortable doing that.  I think talking to both families at the same time will make the other feel uncomfortable and pressured.  We didn’t even tell each side of our family what the other was contributing, so one side wouldn’t feel bad or less helpful.

    So what do you think?  Do you agree with the traditional idea of who pays for what?  Did you and your honey do things differently?  Do you have any advice for how to discuss this with your families?

    {photo credits} via etsy | photo by samm blake via style me pretty | photo by vis photography via Ruffled | jose villa | w. scott chester

    Leave a comment.


    1. Posted Oct 18 at 11:30 pm | Permalink

      Hi, Ido thinnk this is an excellent web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I may revisit once again since i have book marked it.
      Money and freedom is the best way to change,
      may you be rich and continuue to guide others.

    2. Melissa Page
      Posted Aug 13 at 9:29 pm | Permalink

      I have been looking for some info on this. Time to take a note and send the link to my fiance.

    One Trackback

    Leave a Reply

    • The Land of Nod, design for kids and people that used to be kids
    •  Three things: 1. You've got one day left to enter my @mywildbird sling giveaway, so head over to my blog (link in profile) and tag your friends. 2. I was featured on @loyal_hana blog as part of their motherhood series, so if you want to give it a read and hear about my typical (hot mess) day or how I (don't) balance work and mothering head to their profile to find the link to their site. I pretty much live in their nursing-friendly clothes and was honored to be featured. 3. Charlie took this picture (and basically directed me for the shot) and it makes me really really happy   Putting the finishing touches on the boys' bedroom and had to stop to admire the magic that the morning light and their @babyjives mobile was making. ✨☁️⭐️❤️✨#charlieandcalsroomredo
       Can a person be your happy place? Because I'm pretty certain that Quincy is mine ☺️✨ #quincyrhys #thatdimpletho  This week was a rough one. I feel like I say that every week but this one really was. Today alone had me at my breaking point. All three of my kids seemed hell bent on driving me crazy. Quincy literally wouldn't let me put him down or leave the room without a major scream-cry fest. He rode around on the fuss bus allllll day. Tropical storm Calvin left destruction in his wake everywhere he went (if you follow me on snap/stories you got a little sampling but that was nowhere near the extent of it). At one point I went into a room away from my kids and sat in a chair and cried. Within three minutes one of them found me (of course) gave me a hug, and we were all better (except Calvin -- I think this is his permanent state ). This photo is my version of thinking happy thoughts. Bougainvillea vibes ✌️️✨
    • The Honest Company
    • Personalized Mother's Day Photo Cards: She’s always gone the extra mile for you. Now, it’s never been easier to add an extra special touch to Mother’s Day with a personalized photo card.
    • Wedding Paper Divas Wedding Day Needs - Programs, Menus, and more
    • Free Wedding Website from Wedding Paper Divas
    • Earth Mama Angel Baby