Category Archives: planning tips

{Sponsored} 5 Reasons to Have a Honeymoon Registry

By Chandra Fredrick | May 16

I’ve been very vocal about my own experience using a honeymoon registry (I loved it!) almost four years ago, but it seems that some people are still on the fence about the idea. However, the honeymoon registry is becoming popular as many couples find it most appropriate for their needs. After all, the purpose of a gift registry is to take the guesswork out of gift giving.

These days couples are older when they are getting married, many have lived on their own, or together as a couple, for years before their wedding. They don’t need ‘the stuff.’ But everyone deserves a dream honeymoon.

Even though honeymoon registries are not completely main-stream, they can be very practical and useful for the average engaged couple. If you’re still on the fence about whether or not to use one, here are five reasons why you should:

You get exactly what you want. At department stores, the wedding registry salespeople can leave you feeling guilty for not registering for enough. They say you need hundreds of gifts on your registry to give guests plenty of selection and you need to accommodate a wide variety of price points. The problem is that you end up registering for things you don’t really want or need; only to take them back or be stuck figuring out what to do with them after the wedding. With a honeymoon registry, you can get what you really want – the experience of a truly memorable honeymoon.
You don’t have to ask for money. If you feel you don’t need to register for many of the traditional housewares for your wedding, and would prefer gifts towards your honeymoon, it’s still awkward to ask for money. A respectful way to accomplish this goal is through the use of a honeymoon registry that allows you to spend your gift money on your honeymoon. With a honeymoon registry, your guests are essentially giving you money, but each guest will know exactly what that money is intended for – so they can feel good about giving you a special honeymoon gift.
You can combine it with a traditional wedding registry. No one said you can’t have it both ways! Most couples these days have wedding registries set up at more than one store so they have a variety of items to choose from. If you need a few practical essentials for your home but also want a great honeymoon, there’s no unspoken rule saying you can’t register at Target or Crate and Barrel and Honeymoon Pixie! You can get the best of both worlds this way!
You can track your registry online to help you plan for your honeymoon. It’s a good idea to register early for your honeymoon registry to provide guests the opportunity to purchase their gift for you well before your wedding. This will help with your budgeting, as you can then monitor the gift funds received and how much money you’ve got coming in at any given point. Registry gift funds can be redeemed weeks before your wedding to help pre-pay for your lodging and airfare, easing budget concerns. Overall, many couples are pleasantly surprised at the level of gift giving and find that they can splurge a little more on their honeymoon.
Guests get to do it all online. A honeymoon registry is the perfect solution for couples who have friends and family in far-off places. They may want to buy you a gift but would have to ship it to you, which takes time and can be expensive. Plus they may have to pay tax and have the gift wrapped. With a honeymoon registry, they can do all their gift-giving online, avoid the various fees, and not have to guess what you really want for a gift. And you’ll have a detailed ‘thank you’ list from your registry, so you’ll know what to thank each gift giver for!

Though honeymoon registries are still new, they’re clearly a great idea for the modern couple. If you want an unforgettable honeymoon and don’t want to deal with taking back the three extra crystal vases you get on your wedding day, it might be the perfect solution for you! I know it was one of the best decisions my husband and I made.

This post was sponsored by Honeymoon Pixie, who is both a sponsor and Lovely Vendor of Oh Lovely Day and we’re a big fan. If you’re interested in becoming a sponsor, email me for rate information and a media kit.

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7 Tips for Finding Your Wedding Dress

By Chandra Fredrick | May 7

Shopping for your wedding dress is one of the most anticipated pre-wedding moments for every bride. But just because you are excited about it doesn’t mean it will go smoothly, or even be fun. But it SHOULD be fun. If you prepare ahead of time and follow these tips, your wedding dress shopping experience will be both fun and productive. Read More »

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{Planning Tips} Wedding Day Timeline

By Chandra Fredrick | Apr 23

We’ve talked what to do when you’re first engaged, how to find your wedding venue, cutting your guest list, and lots more wedding planning tips. But what about those of you who are about to get married and have already finished the planning? You need help planning your wedding day schedule. So today I’m helping you make a wedding day timeline. Read More »

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{Planning Tips} 11 Things Every Wedding Guest Should Know

By Chandra Fredrick | Apr 2

My planning tips posts are usually written to help the couple, but today’s post is focused on educating your wedding guests. But trust me, this will help YOU in the long run. Maybe even more than some of my other tips posts because, let’s face it, sometimes your guests can be a pain in the ass.

While planning my own wedding I was shocked to find that some people (sometimes a lot of them) can’t be bothered to drop a pre-addressed, pre-stamped RSVP in the mail. They don’t understand why you don’t want their five kids at your wedding. They insist on requesting an “and guest” on their invite, even though you’ve explained you are only inviting people who know and love and those they love. So I thought a little etiquette & education for the guests might be in order.

1. Send back your freaking RSVP card for the wedding. Even if you know the couple knows you’re coming. Even if you are in the wedding. Even if you aren’t coming. NO MATTER WHAT. The couple spent a lot of time and money inviting you, addressing your reply card, and they even put a stamp on it for you. It could not be easier. A monkey could do it. Are you better than a monkey?

2. Read and review the wedding website before you start asking the couple questions. Where should we stay? Where is the wedding? What time does it start? What will the weather be like? These are all answers that can likely be found on a couple’s wedding website. Again, they spent a lot of time on it, so try to check it out before you waste their time asking questions they’ve spent time trying to answer for you.

3. Can I Bring a Guest? Not if you have to ask. If a partner, friend, significant other, or your child are not written on the invitation, then they are not invited. If “And Guest” is not written next to your name, then NO, you cannot bring a guest. This may seem harsh, but venues are sometimes small or formal, and each person’s meal is expensive. If they didn’t specify an invite, there was a reason. Don’t ask.

4. Don’t wear white. I can’t even believe I have to say it, but I know I do. It happened at my wedding (though I did not even notice) and many other weddings I’ve been to. You can wear any other color, but please just leave white for the bride (or whatever color she’s wearing, if you know she’s donning a color other than white).

5. Don’t Decide to Be the Official Wedding Photographer (or Cinematographer). Unless the couple asks, don’t take it upon yourself to barge in the front of photo ops and take photos, especially flash photos, of official events. The couple likely paid a pretty (well-spent) penny on a photographer and you are making their job more difficult, not to mention possibly intruding on their photos.

6. No Kids Means NO KIDS. Seriously, I know you love your kids. I love my kid. Kids are great. But some weddings are not kid-friendly and some couples just don’t want them there. Respect that. Don’t be the a-hole that shows up with a baby at a specified no-kid wedding.

7. Don’t complain about the bar. Unless it is a cash bar, then you are 100% allowed to complain (because cash bars should be illegal). But if the couple is only serving beer and wine or has a cut off time on the bar, just drink the free booze with a smile. You’ll still get drunk. You really don’t need a scotch.

(NOTE: due to several comments below stating that my saying “a cash bar should be illegal” comment made them feel bad about their own cash bar: it is just my opinion (and it was said as a joke. Obviously I think they are a DON’T, but I don’t actually think they should be illegal.) And by “cash bar” I meant completely unhosted bar. If you are giving wine at the tables or a signature cocktail, or cutting the bar off after a reasonable period of time due to the fact that your guests have gotten wasted and drank all of your booze, this doesn’t apply to you. But if you think you don’t have the money to pay for a bar for your guests I have some suggestions for you: rework your budget to make at least beer and/or wine happen, cut your guestlist or consider a different venue if that doesn’t work, get creative, or serve no alcohol. If you must have a cash bar, warn your guests ahead of time. I’m sorry if it makes you feel bad for me or others to say cash bars are tacky or will piss off your guests, but that’s the truth. You have to come to terms with that if you’re going to have one.)

8. Leave the DJ alone, for the most part. I’ve been to a few weddings with some pretty bad DJs. Like, really bad. If you’re at a wedding where literally no one is dancing and the DJ is horrible (I’m thinking of Love Actually as a good example) then feel free to go request a song. But a song that is popular or fun or that you know the couple loves. Don’t be requesting Eminem’s “Bitch I’m Gonna Kill You” and expect it to be played. I get it – the song is the bomb. But it is not wedding-friendly. Also, on the do-not-request list: The Electric Slide, The Cha Cha Slide, or any other slide; YMCA, the Chicken Dance, The Macarena, or any songs on the couple’s actual do-not-play list. But if the DJ is doing a pretty great job and people are dancing, they’re good at their job. So leave them alone and let them do it.

9. Don’t Take Stuff. Except for favors and things specified as up for grabs, don’t leave with stuff from the wedding. You know that pretty centerpiece in a big mason jar on your table? Don’t take it. You are probably safe to take the florals inside, but the containers are probably either rented or took a lot of time collecting and cost money for the couple. Unless they say otherwise, don’t take them home.

10. Don’t Facebook Their Wedding. Try to respect the couple’s privacy and keep the social media to a minimum while at the wedding. While some couples may encourage you to share photos on instagram with a hashtag or don’t mind if you facebook a few, most couples would appreciate not sharing their intimate moments before they’ve even gotten to see them themselves. Plus, if you post an unflattering picture of the bride, that’s just mean.

11. DO NOT Disturb the Couple on their Wedding Day (or the morning after). Do not text, do not call, do not facebook message, do not knock on their door. DO NOT CONTACT the couple on their wedding day. They are busy and don’t need the added stress or work. If you have an emergency, contact a member of the wedding party or a parent of the couple.

Bonus: A note on gift-giving. In case you were wondering, it isn’t required by etiquette that you buy the couple a gift (though it is the nice thing to do and you should if you have the means) If you are spending a lot of money to travel, paying for a babysitter, etc. and you just don’t have anything left, then don’t stress. But do at least give the couple a nice card at the time of their wedding. And remember, you do have up to a year after the wedding to send a gift, so you can send some cash when you have the funds. And if you have the money and were wondering, you are theoretically supposed to give a gift that is equal to the cost of your “per head” cost (for each guest in your party). If you don’t know what that is, ($75-100 per person is usually a good guess) just give what you are comfortable with. And cash is always a welcomed gift for the couple, but if you want to give an actual item try to stick to the registries.

So, what do you think about these guest guidelines? Would you add any? There are more, of course, but I thought this was these were the most important things to remember. So pin now and hope your wedding guests see it and take a hint.

Photos by Jennifer Roper. Jennifer Roper is a member of our Lovely Vendor guide. If you’d like to be considered for our handpicked guide, apply here.

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{Getting Real} Sex on Your Wedding Night: Tips for Having it (Because Most Couples Don’t)

By Chandra Fredrick | Mar 21

Ok, here’s the real deal about sex on your wedding night: almost no one does it! Shocking, I know. I’ll never forget when the first of my girlfriends confessed to me that she and her new husband didn’t have sex the night of their wedding. I couldn’t believe it. And then I heard it from another friend. And another. By then I started to realize it was more than just a fluke – it was the norm.

More than likely, you and your new husband are both exhausted, hot & sweaty, drunk, or a combination of the three. By the time you retire to your “honeymoon suite” you’re ready to pass out. But if you really want to have sex on your wedding night, you can do it. I did! Here are a few tips to making it happen.

Tip 1: Don’t stay out at the wedding after-party with your wedding guests till 5 am. And don’t get completely wasted. It’s totally ok to party, stay out till 5 am, and get wasted. But you won’t have sex. Pick your fun.

Tip 2: If you do want to meet up with your guests at an after-party, or stay out late partying, excuse yourself for a bit after the wedding and before you meet up with everyone to get out of your wedding clothes. While you’re out of them, have sex. Then go party. Problem solved. Oh, and being in a rush to meet up with everyone might make it even hotter…

Tip 3: When you get to your room, take a romantic bath or shower (preferably together). It will make you feel less disgusting from all of that dancing and drinking and will wake you up a bit. Then slip into that sexy lingerie you bought for your wedding night and get busy. You might not feel like it at the start, but you’ll be into it pretty soon. And that lesson is good practice for later, if/when you have kids and you often have to make yourselves have sex when you can, whether you’re into it at that moment or not.

Tip 4: Be ok with the fact that you might not have sex on your wedding night. It’s not that big of a deal – you have the rest of your lives together. Plus, there’s always morning-after-wedding sex… And that’s why I don’t believe in organized day-after brunches.

PS – need some suggestions for great wedding night lingerie? I love this, this, and this. Oh, and this – for after.

{all photos by Elizabeth Messina originally found here on Munaluchi Bride and here on Wedding Chicks}

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{Planning Tips} Should You Do A “First Look?”

By Chandra Fredrick | Mar 13

We’ve talked about “first looks” before, but after seeing the above photo in this week’s Condor’s Nest Ranch wedding from Swoon By Katie, I’m thinking we should talk about them again.

I’m so torn. As a bride, I couldn’t fathom doing a first look, but as a blogger I totally get why it can be such a good idea. Brides who didn’t do one swear by sticking to tradition, and brides who do look don’t regret seeing each other before the ceremony. Photographers love them. So who’s right? Here’s my two cents:

A first look can serve several purposes, the obvious being that you get more photos out of the way before the ceremony so you have more time after for other photos and mingling with your guests. It also helps you get over any pre-wedding jitters, major bouts of tears, and lets you get a makeup touch up from those tears. Plus, the first look makes for some great photos.

Here is why I didn’t do a first look: Seeing my husband at the end of the aisle for the first time on our wedding day was the absolute best moment of my wedding, maybe of my life (until I had a baby). Of course I didn’t know that when I made the decision not to do one, but both my husband and I agreed we wanted to wait to see each other. That anticipation, that seeing each other in front of all of our friends and family and not seeing anyone else but each other in that moment, and that joy was priceless. Plus, it led to this:

{I love the look of anticipation as he is seeing me round the corner}

Now, I’ve seen a lot of great “first look” emotional shots too. That shot is one of my all-time favorites. I think the first time you see each other is going to be emotional, but I love that ours was part of the ceremony.

So, what do you think? Say yes to a first look or wait till the ceremony? I’d love to hear what you did or plan to do in your wedding or which you like to see best. Chime in!

{photo credits} top photo: Swoon by Katie / all others by Jennifer Roper from my wedding