• The 5 Things To Do First When You Get Engaged

    You're Engaged! Here are the 5 things to do first.
    I know quite a few of you got engaged over the holidays (and a few more of you probably will soon with Valentine’s Day on the horizon) so first…. yay! congrats! happy dance! And secondly, it’s time to revisit some of my favorite tips of what to do now that you are engaged. From someone who has been engaged, who has planned a wedding, and who learned some hard lessons, here are THE five things you need to do FIRST.

    {one} set a budget

    After you call your parents and friends to share the news and celebrate your newly engaged bliss, the first thing you need to do is set a budget.  You don’t have to do this right away, but you do have to do it before you start planning, and definitely before you start buying stuff.  This will determine everything else you do, decide on, and choose.  Are you paying for the wedding yourselves or will your parents contribute?  How much will be contributed?  The best thing you can do is figure this out before anything else, and then stick to your budget.  Did you hear that? STICK TO YOUR BUDGET.

    {two} make a guest list

    You and your fiancé should make a list of who you would like to invite, and you may want to let each of your parents do the same (especially if they are footing the bill.)  Then you’ll have an anxiety attack when you add them all up to 500 people!  Trust me when I say that this will not be your real guest list.  You will cut cut cut CUT until you reach a more realistic number. This can be hard when you include everyone’s friends, family members, work colleagues, and your mother-in-law’s second cousin twice removed.  So set rules: no extended family (meaning parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and first cousins only), no people from work, no kids: these are a few ways to cut the list if you are comfortable with it (make your own rules – those are just suggestions).  And this is just a starting point to give you a good idea.  You can always add or subtract as needed.  REMEMBER – THE MORE PEOPLE YOU HAVE, THE MORE MONEY YOUR WEDDING WILL COST.  This is why step one is so important!

    {three} find a venue

    Warning: for me, this was the hardest and most stressful part of wedding planning.  Finding a venue that meets your budget, finding a venue that fits your guest list, finding a venue that doesn’t make you cut off the music at a ridiculously early hour, finding a venue that isn’t booked for two years… these are just a few of many frustrating parts of your venue search.  My husband and I also really wanted to get married on a particular date, and this made our search hard as well.  Once we let that go, the possibilities opened up for us.  That’s why I didn’t say “pick a date.”  It is much better to be open to any date in the month or two you prefer to be married.  Once you find a venue you love in a location you love that works with your budget and guest count, the hardest part of your wedding planning is behind you!

    What To Do When You Get Engaged | Oh Lovely Day

    {four} think about your wedding style

    Let me repeat, THINK about your wedding style.  Don’t decide on ANYTHING.  You will change your mind 500 times.  Also, repeat after me: I WILL NOT BUY ANYTHING YET.  You will change your mind, and have wasted your money (learn from my mistake!)  Just start looking at some wedding blogs, pick up the latest Martha Stewart Weddings or Brides, look around your home (because your wedding style should reflect YOU and what YOU love), create a pinterest board, and start thinking.  Don’t go dress shopping, don’t pick a color for your bridesmaids’ dresses, just start thinking…

    {five} take a breath and relax

    Once you have gotten the big things out of the way, stop planning for a little bit (depending on how far away your wedding date is).  Getting wrapped up in the planning can get you frustrated, scare and confuse your soon-to-be groom, and get overwhelming really quick. Having a budget, an idea of your guest list, a venue (and therefore a wedding date), and thinking about your style is enough for now.  Although every city and location is different and demand for other wedding vendors is higher in some places than others, everyone should have a little breather before you move on to the rest of your planning.  Enjoy being engaged. Celebrate.  Go on a date and don’t talk about the wedding.  It is refreshing!

    What To Do When You Get Engaged | Oh Lovely Day

    While these are the first 5 things you should do, you may also want to start looking at vendors you like when you are perusing the wedding blogs.  Many of us (me included) have vendor guides to help you.  Plus, at the end of every wedding feature all of the vendors are listed, so if the feature is in your area and you like the photographs or florals from that wedding, you may want to consider those vendors.

    So… who got engaged over the holidays?

    PS- I’ll be revisiting my favorite wedding planing tips posts over the next couple of months for all of you engaged newbies! Stay tuned.

    {Photo credits} Top: via How He Asked / lakeside: David Wittig / train side: Jon-Mark Wiltshire

    leave a comment.


    1. Posted Jan 22 at 2:58 pm | Permalink

      Wedding planning can be so stressful! We thought about the type of wedding we wanted before thinking of a budget forcing us to get creative. Rather than using the budget to turn down what we wanted, we had to figure out how to make it work.

    2. Posted Jan 23 at 10:49 am | Permalink

      I agree with that list the engaged couples need to do. The last one is really important, you really need some time to relax and breathe and also enjoy what you are doing. Don’t stress yourself trying to fix or do anything.

    3. Posted Jan 27 at 7:27 pm | Permalink

      I hope have a romantic courtship ritual!

    4. Posted Jan 30 at 2:25 pm | Permalink

      Thanks for sharing, these are really great tips, especially setting a budget, that is so important! Weddings can be expensive, looking back I wish I stuck with this one more 🙂

    5. Posted Sep 3 at 5:55 am | Permalink

      I think this is a really informative piece that will help any newly engaged couple. Working in the industry myself, I believe that planning efficiently and effectively will help to reduce the stress involved, and lead to an enjoyable build-up to the big day. Focusing on your point on budget- I completely agree that this is an area that needs to be considered carefully, even before the engagement. Of course, the contribution of guest and family will play a role in deciding the budget, but it is important to make a decision on whether borrowing is necessary, and if so, whether the couple is happy to be in debt at the beginning of their marriage.

    6. Posted Sep 8 at 12:41 am | Permalink

      Such a beautiful photos!

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